After cutting, stitch up arms, legs, and torso. Tie off neck, wrists, and ankles with whatever's handy. Stuff, and stitch eyes with colored thread. For a more personal touch you can glue on any leftover hair you may have found in his hairbrush. If you've already cut up his entire necktie collection, save a small piece of fabric to give your doll some flair. That's all there is to it. Happy Stabbing!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Smelly Sock Voodoo Doll Instructions
After cutting, stitch up arms, legs, and torso. Tie off neck, wrists, and ankles with whatever's handy. Stuff, and stitch eyes with colored thread. For a more personal touch you can glue on any leftover hair you may have found in his hairbrush. If you've already cut up his entire necktie collection, save a small piece of fabric to give your doll some flair. That's all there is to it. Happy Stabbing!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
smelly sock voodoo doll
Next time your good for nothing boyfriend tells you he "needs some space" make sure you snag one of his dirty socks before he heads for the door. If you're feeling particularly vindictive you can fill the sock with any paper or cloth-based relationship souvenirs you might have lying around: ticket stubs, napkins, the insides of the stupid stuffed rabbit he gave you for Valentine's Day, his passport, etc. It's also fun to try and steal his shoelaces before he leaves. Not only can you use them to tie off the doll's extremities, he'll have fun trying to make his way over to his new girlfriend's house without his shoelaces. I also find it cathartic to set up my new smelly-sock-ex-boyfriend-voodoo-doll with a tiny little plastic slut, like "crack-ho barbie" here.
How to make a doll noose
You will need:
- 1 doll who has recently pissed you off
- 1 length of cord, plain white twine, or discarded shoelace
- The ability to follow complicated knot-tying instructions. I've provided a link here for how to tie a noose, however you will need to adjust measurements to doll-size.
Note- If you can't figure out how to do it, you can always grab your twine, run outside and ask the first man you see in your sweetest voice if he can help tie a noose for you. Men love to help women with stuff like this. It makes them feel useful and powerful.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Hangover Harriet #2
beer bottle= body
cigarette pack= head
bottle caps= eyes
"silver lining"= hair
toilet paper= skirt
floss= sash
used matchbox: rip to form arms
sharpie= crazy manic pupils
fabric glue= sticks shit together nicely
Note: One can only construct this doll properly when inebriated, and only appreciate properly when hungover.
Once I wake up and answer all of the important questions like: "What's my name?", "Why is my shirt on backwards?", "Who smoked all my cigarettes?", "What did Marx really mean by dictatorship of the proletariat?", "Is Snuffleupagus really real?" I find that Hangover Harriet
is a great comfort to me when I finally I come to my senses, decide to take an Advil and go back to sleep.
Hangover Harriet #1
While making dolls in captivity is wicked fuckin' hella awesome, sometimes the only inspiration one needs is a couple drinks....or 6...or 9. Add to that the discarded remnants of a party recently evacuated, because some unnamed hostess refused to stop playing Social Distortion's cover of "Pretty in Pink" over and over again, and you've got yourself a recipe for a Hangover Harriet doll.
You will need:
- 1 at least mostly empty beer bottle (If it's got a sip or two left in it, don't sweat it - this will just add a distinctive stale hoppy flavor to your doll)
- 1 empty cigarette pack (note: separate silver lining. You will need this later. No double entendre intended)
- 2 beer bottle caps
- about six plies of toilet paper and six inches of dental floss ( You will recall these materials from our previous bathroom shenanigans)
- One used matchbook
- A sharpie
- Fabric glue
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Help! I'm drunk and trapped in the bathroom doll #6
Help I'm Drunk and Trapped in the Bathroom Doll #5
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